Any Questions?

You’ve been there and so have I. You get ready for the interview with the crisp resume and clean shirt and shined shoes. You start out with a strong hand shake and great smile. You keep going with a friendly demeanor and the experience to back up your claims that you are perfect for the position. It’s alomst over…wait for it…Do you have any questions for me?

Huh? You know the rule that you don’t negotiate the terms of employment until an official job offer is made. You assume this is a trap and you smile and say no.

Wrong move. The only way to answer this question is with a question. And you should know that question before you leave for the interview.

Have you researched the company you applying for? I certainly hope so because this is how you prepare for a job interview. Once you research make sure you have tidbit you are ready to discuss. More precisely ready for them to discuss. Your question should spark the interviewer to talk about the company they love so much. Example: I read your company is expanding to Europe. You must find that very exciting? Now you brought that job home.


The List: March 6, 2011

Be happy this week:

  1. You heard the academy awards were a little slow. You spent that night watching Two and Half Men reruns. Good for you.
  2. You’ve been a superstar at work and now you’ve earned one day of skipping out late.
  3. It looks like good weather may be here to stay. I don’t think  we can make it through another storm.
  4. You call your mom and decide the guilt trip she gives you is nostalgic.
  5. You decide to go out and not stay in when the choice comes up.

Should I Ask Him?

That depends on the question.  Do you want to ask for his hand in marriage? Do you want to ask for a dinner date Friday night? Do you want him to let you get to the copier machine? Single women today are left with the question: ‘Should I get proactive about going out on dates with men or follow the age old advice to let him make the first move?’

Here goes the answer. If a guy cannot step up to asking a woman he is attracted to ‘out’ then he is defective. Sorry ladies and gents it’s true. You may settle for this and that may be a good move for you to stay warm on those chilly nights. The other more obvious explanation is that you do not inspire in him the audacity he needs to approach you. Some day he might meet the woman that does inspire him.

The guy who does ask you out presents another problem. I talk to more and more of my girlfriends who get the ‘call me when you’re ready to have sex’ treatment. Guys are aggressive enough to ask you out but they have no concept of dating. If they are under twenty-five they may refuse to use the word date and hold off on the phrase ‘girlfriend’ indefinitely. A friend of mine trying to redefine her dating life went on a crusade to not ‘put out’ until one month had passed of spending time with her suitor. She was hoping a more stable relationship would result. And? Most guys stopped calling after the first week.

So where does this leave you women? My advice is this: don’t ask the guy out. Stay social and spend time with potential suitors in a group setting. For example, on Fridays invite a few men and women from work to join you and your friends at happy hour. The guy you like is of course on the guest list. If he comes he gets even more time to see how great you are and if not you get to see how many other fish are in the sea.

Take this weeks poll: Should a woman ask a man out?

The List: February 27, 2011

1. The quote: “Surprise! It’s vasectomy day.” Raising Hope Episode 15 “Snip Snip”

2. Chocolate has never been disproven as having health benefits.

3. If housing prices get any lower you may be able to afford a townhouse.

4. You have never worked for or with or employed Charlie Sheen.

5. You tube search results for: ‘cute animals doing funny things.’

The List: February 20, 2011

  1. Mister Sunshine Episode 3: “Heather’s Sister”. Watch it on right now even if you are at work.
  2. Your friend. Yes, we know you have a friend even if you don’t have a posse like the one you covet on that show Friends. Your friend is great and counts.
  3. Spring. It’s still colder than we would like but spring is bound to happen very soon.
  4. The weekend. I will only use this once but you can be thankful every week even when it’s not on the list.
  5. The Academy Awards. Even if it seems like a lot of pomp and ceremony you have to like the hosts this year.

A Word for Our Sponsor

I would like to give a little information about my chosen charity for this blog.

This blog is designed to help youth who are trying very hard to enter adulthood. Finding the right job, the right partner, the right philosophy to make ones life happy is becoming more and more difficult. An economic down turn has made matters even more confusing as many now strive not just to thrive but to survive. With this in mind I hope all of you have the right outfit for every milestone in your careers.

In their own words: “The mission of Dress for Success is to promote the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life. ”

Take a quick poll and learn what other readers think about dressing for the interview:

Can He Listen More?

You found the right guy for now and that’s a great feeling. You spend all your time together. One of you pretends to like football and the other tolerates Glee. It is a match made in heaven.

 One problem: Sometimes you’re talking and he just zones out. Or worse he gets irritated. You explain to him how important it is that he listen to you, but to no avail. Maybe some people call you talkative and others simply say you talk too much. But he is supposed to appreciate you for who you are.  What is the problem here?

The first rule to any good life is have friends you love, trust, and depend on around you. Where are you’re friends? Did you forget the minute love struck that they were very needed? Another important milestone toa  happy life is liking yourself enough to enjoy down time one on one with you. When was the last time this happened?

Not all of you are getting a strong improvement needed on this quiz. Some of you have meaningful friendships outside the relationship that you prioritize. You can happily spend a safe amount of time alone in life and you do routinely. What now?

Analyze. Remember your problem is not one that everyone else has or that you can pull a cookie cutter answer for out of a book. You must honestly question yourself about what is going wrong. Chances are two people are contributing to the problem just like two people are contributing to the relationship. First, look at a clock. How long can you carry on a monologue? Thirty minutes? One hour? Two hours? What are you discussing? Is it global warming? Is it the rising cost of mani pedi’s? Based on his background is this something he would be interested in?

Now get some objective feed back based on your statistics. One great way is observe yourself in a similar situation to the one in which you are putting your man. Do you find you zone out or tune in? Hmm. Then there is the hypothetical and the friend who pretends she doesn’t think you are talking about your own situation. Beware the hypothetical because you will always tweak the facts to put yourself in a favored light. Sometimes this can be enlightening in and of itself.

 Let’s take our data and form our conclusion. He doesn’t care enough about me to listen when I need him to listen. He care about me but I need to get a grip and find some other outlets for my feelings. He cares but he could care more. Either I’ll wait for the relationship to mature or I’ll ditch him and find a guy with open arms and open ears. Only you can discover the right answer. Go ahead and start your search.